Ava loving on all the babies!
Okay, so I posted these adorable pics of Ava being the sweet angel she is with babies.
But I'm really here to vent and ask for advice. Though I know ever kid
and parent work differently, I'm just at a loss.
Ava has gone in and out of phases of hitting, Jeremy and I in particular. She's actually
doing better with not hitting other kids anymore, just us!
She gets put in time out, we talk to her about how it makes us sad and she'll
quickly apologize and move on. But it happens again and again. Especially if we tell
her no to something she wants, she makes an angry face and wacks us.
I've slapped her on her hand to show her it hurts us, then she falls apart crying like I've beaten
her. So Mommies out there, if you've had this problem, what has worked for you.
We have some friends that do spank their kids, but I'm not sure we want to get to that. Though I completely understand every kid responds differently, and that works for them.
Anyway, I spent my Mother's Day at church getting hit a few times, did not make me feel special!!! Help me ladies!!!
9 comments:
I have no real good advice to give--just empathy. We've tried the time out corner, the "hitting back so he knows how it feels" (which for Ethan had a really negative affect!), taking away privilages, etc. The thing that works best for Ethan is to explain that we understand he is mad/frustrated, we understand what he wants to do, and that hitting was not going to change the fact we said no or whatever he was mad about. I try to think of alternative things he CAN do to try to teach him to cope with not getting what he wants. Positive attention works much better with him. He still hits occasionally but we got through the major hitting phase fairly well. Not sure if that will help, but just know, you are an awesome mommy and you are not alone!
my kids did that. I got really good at seeing them wind up to hit me and being able to either grab their wrist before they made contact or do the full on karate block that I learned in kempo karate class.
then I wouldn't let go of their wrists until they apologized and explained what the "appropriate" response to anger looks like. (answer: not hitting.)
it only took about 47,803 repetitions of this for it to start to sink in.
a little.
good luck!! xoxo
I think my mom did the "hugs not hits" thing with us where every time we hit we were made to give a hug. I tried it with Kael too. That phase doesn't last very long, just hang in there you are doing it right!
Youch! Sorry your sweetie is hitting you! I don't think Parker went through this phase, but I know lots of kids go through hitting and/or biting phases so there are definitely some words of helpful advice out there, I am sure. It's so hard to know what to do because children respond to different thing. I would read message boards and articles online to get some ideas. I think immediately taking away her baby dolls when she hits might eventually work, and the blocking thing that the other blogger suggested. She would probably do anything to protect her "babies" and so maybe those "maternal" instincts will kick in and she will remember that when she hits, the babies get taken away. Just be prepared for lots of crying and screaming the first couple times! You will have to look into her eyes and say, when you hit, we have to put the babies away. Please don't turn to spanking- it makes NO sense hitting a child when we tell them it is NEVER okay to hit their friends, their family, etc. They are so small and so defenseless against us, and spanking will be something you regret forever if you do it. I mean you see how betrayed she felt by just a hand slap! Her mommy and daddy are supposed to be the people she always feels safe with, and spanking breaks down that feeling of security.
Hope you find some methods that help her overcome this issue! Good luck :)
Thanks for all the comments ladies, I'll have to try some of the suggestions. First probably starting with taking away toys or redirecting her attention. It's really frustrating because I thought we got past this phase and were done, but nope, she brought it right back. Just grateful it's not her friends she's hitting anymore (or not as much). Thanks again! And no Janell, I couldn't turn to spanking. I'd be the one who ended up crying more than she would, she's way too little for it.
I am so glad you got some good advice. I am the worst. If my kids started to bite other kids - I would bite them back. I never really had a hitting problem. They never learned to hit - until nursery age, then at that point I would just say no. Over and over and over.
Repetition. It sucks.
Repetition. It's well, repetitive.
:)
Just keep in in perspective. She will be a wonderful grade schooler soon enough - and I bet she won't have a hitting problem anymore.
LOVE THE PICS!
Are you saying that I'm going to get beat up when I come next month? Hopefully she is done with this phase by then!!!
Eva hits occasionally and when she does I catch her hand and give her an immediate consequence, like whisking her away to her room before she gets a chance to argue, and shutting her in by herself for a few minutes. It gets her even further from getting what she wants, usually, and doing it consistently has made it so that most of the time I only have to give her a warning when I see her getting angry, and she remembers that she doesn't want the consequence and backs off.
I'll be looking to you for that advice very soon! Good luck! Gabe likes to throw everything at us right now. She's adorable. Who's kids are those? All adorable!
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